We have endured it all. Starting from hate, blame and jealousy to distance and misunderstandings. Our lives were, for a long time, in a turmoil. But today, I am finally happy to see that we have made it through all that. For a long time, there was doubt and insecurity about what the future holds for us. But today, it has all disappeared my old friend. Today, I feel like celebrating our journey. No, I know it is not our anniversary today, but it is just another beautiful day and I am happy that we have come smiling through whatever obstacles were thrown at us. Our love has only got more mature by the day. Our understanding of each other has only gotten better. And I am so looking forward to spending a lifetime by your side.

Love you old friend.

Cheers!

You happened

I thought that I will never fall in love but then you happened.

I thought that my life was not as different as other’s but then you happened.

I thought that nothing can satisfy me as much as a good night’s sleep but then you happened.

I thought that I will never marry anyone but then you happened.

I thought that we were not meant to be but we are going strong even after eight years. You were bound to happen to me.

I have been extremely blessed to have you as my best friend, as my pillar of strength, my ever standing support.

Happy eight and a half year anniversary.

Home sweet home

I miss my home today. It seems so long ago since I was there, talking to my mom in the kitchen while she cooked something warm and delicious. I remember the simple things we used to talk about and laugh or sometimes discuss about issues that seemed so important then. I miss my brother, fighting with him for every piece of chocolate. I miss my granny, who was always immersed in prayers and teaching us good morals. I miss my dogs. I miss their innocent faces looking at me, telling me to feed them even though they had been fed just a few minutes ago. I miss my mango tree and the parijata tree. The fragile little things that shivered and shook even for a small breeze.

parijata

Most of all, I miss my dad. I cannot find another person in my life who can match my dad’s personality. He has the greatest strength and sense of humor. How he is able to keep all of us happy, I cannot ever understand. He always has time for me. And for my mom and the rest of us. He also spent time with our trees and other plants, taking care of them, watering and protecting them. I can still remember my school days, I never had shortage of pencils, pens and erasers. He always used to keep a huge stock of stuffs for my brother and me. Our fridge was never empty, it always had food and snacks which we as kids always took for granted. I look at my fridge now and feel embarrassed at how empty it is. He was my mom’s assistant in the kitchen, my brother’s exercising coach, my dogs trainer and my personal bodyguard. We never got to realize how easy our lives were because of him till he got a job out of the country. I felt so helpless without him. I miss him now. I wish I could get back those days now.

A Summer bummer!

It was a summer morning. I woke up early and thought of studying for my exam which was in 2 days, but then I looked outside my window.. It was a bright sunny day, the birds were chirping and flying around. The leaves of the trees were swaying gently in the cool morning breeze. There was that familiar woody, musky scent from the nearby woods. I could hear all of them calling me to go and enjoy the weather while it lasted! So I took out my bike and cycled. Happiness always comes in small packages, I felt happy when the wind hit my face as I cycled, it felt so refreshing and I felt free of worries.

It is really these little things that give us so much of happiness. Its not those big expensive things we buy or that we wish we had that bring joy. It’s those small little things which may mean nothing much maybe for others but which means so much for you that makes you so happy!

Anyways, my story continues from where I stopped..

I went cycling that day, in no particular direction and suddenly reached a park which I had not encountered before. It was less of a park and more of a huge forest. I could see people jogging and cycling on the pathway, so I continued cycling too. I took a turn from my path after sometime and took another detour sometime later on and then another one and ended up in the middle of the forest. I was just starting to feel all adventurous when I suddenly saw a fox! It looked at me for a few seconds, stunned, maybe asking – what I was doing there – I looked back. appalled by its beauty. It had a long tail which was so fluffy, a slender body and a “foxy” face, the same face which I had seen in all those cartoons. Somehow, I thought it would stand on its two hind legs and put its hand on its hips and tell me sternly to get the hell out of there! (My wild imagination.. there is no end to it.) But, obviously, the fox just looked at me and ran away into the woods, scared shitless by such a huge and noisy THING because my bike made a lot of noise while I cycled since I was riding on a stone pathway. At that point, I wanted to turn around and get out of the place. But, I was LOST. I could not find my way back. I remembered taking two right turns but there were so many other right turns now and I was confused as to which was the right one.

At this point, I want to tell that even though I own a smart phone, I don’t make use of it except for calling people, which is also when it is really necessary, I did not have internet connection on my phone and hence could not use my phone to find my route back. So, I called up a friend and told her that I am lost and will let her know if I need some help. She started panicking, she wanted to come look for me, But, I told her that I am in the middle of nowhere and I will eventually find my way back, if I just met someone else jogging or cycling.

So, I went on, trying to find my way back. I could feel the wind blowing through the leaves of the trees, The same thing which we hear all the time and which brings a smile on our face, may seem so creepy when we know that we are alone, like the wind blowing through the leaves. There is nothing scary about that! When I was sitting in my room looking outside my window, I thought it would be so refreshing to get some of that wind on my face. But now I was scared of the same thing and the sound it was making! I cycled faster, I started imagining all sorts of creepy scary stuff that might happen. I prayed so much to god that day.. He was just too lazy that summer day because nothing happened! I tried remembering my way and was almost going to get a panic attack, when suddenly I could hear someone panting in the pathway parallel to the one I was cycling in. And so, I cycled till I reached the turning in my path and cycled to the guy who was jogging. I never felt so happy to see a human being before. I asked him for the way out of the bloody forest and he looked at me like I was a stupid girl or something. But, then he showed me the way and it all seemed pretty simple after he said it. Feeling more stupid, I cycled my way out and finally reached home! Uff.. it was one hell of a ride. I just closed my window to shut out all the bird songs, the cool wind and all the other nature calls and went back to studying!  Never falling into your trap again mother nature!!

Love and The mundane world

What is love? A voice in my head says.. love is to give.. To just give, give and give and never expect anything in return.. It is unconditional. Love cannot be perfected by normal humans, But of course we always try to. Love is like meditation, it seems to be unrealistic at first but only by going deep and understanding the inner meaning, one can understand the true nature of this feeling.

Love is pure. It need not just be between two lovers. It can be between a girl and her pet dog, between a mother and her baby, between two best friends, between a brother and a sister. Love is not judgmental,  it is certainly not blind because you don’t love a person just for their looks, you love them for the person they are. It’s a connection between two souls. It keeps you connected even though you are miles apart from each other.

Love spreads out, just like any other feeling. It can touch souls, it has the power to overcome all negativity. Have you observed a child? No matter how much he/she is irritated with you for not buying that toy/chocolate one minute, will be jumping around and making you laugh just the next minute.. You can never be angry or hate your child.

When you fail to understand these feelings, there are complications. When love is judgmental there are fights and rifts. When love is not pure, there is no trust. And when there is a feeling of pain rather than having butterflies in your tummy, it sure is an indication that your love is at its dead end.

Price tag

Though I am a person belonging to the present world.. the people nowadays seem really odd to me. Like for example, I had never seen harlem shake videos, I had just listened to the audio song and liked the beats, but today for some apparent reason I saw the various video versions of the song and I was disgusted by what I saw.. Random guy making out with a basket of fruits (o_O), girls stripping down and acting slutty, some guy with a horse face dancing like he is doped (wait, he must be doped), people almost naked dancing like crazy.. What is the point?? Do I have to know how YOU guys make love have sex with inanimate objects and/or other doped people? Naaa.. I dont think so.. I mean, I really don’t get what you want people (not to forget children) to understand from such stuff.

It is not just about the crazy harlem shake videos, I am so sad with the attitude of the young generation. Girls of my age, they give all their priority to grooming themselves rather than being a better person inside. Anyone can look pretty, but not everyone is beautiful. Putting on a smile, having a helping hand ready always and showing off your positive attitude is much much much more important than applying the perfect lip gloss or wearing the perfect fitting clothes. Please people, time to get mature with your actions and being responsible for who and what you are. I am sick of looking at girls showing off their entire body, I am tired of looking at girls giving me disgusted looks because maybe I am not so well groomed as them. I get irritated to hear stories of people just witnessing an accident and taking pictures/videos rather than helping out the victims. Sometimes it makes me sick that I am a part of this dumb drunken world.

New start for an old life

When I moved into Munich to study, little did I know that it would be so different. It was like someone had just left me in a new universe and I had no clue what to do! A whole new thing happened with me, something that I never dreamt of. I had to be so independent in my thinking. I had to make all the right choices and I had to fit in with a different crowd. People in my country were more open and warm but not here. The same people had turned different for some reason I cannot fathom. I had to do all my chores and make intelligent choices etc etc.. which was not my cup of tea.

Anyways, though depressing at first, I moved on. I can tell you that it was a pain in my a** and wadaa wadaa but who wants to listen to a sad story now?

Life has taught me a lot in these past few months. I will sure as hell won’t forget these lessons. Recently, I met girls who have been facing the same problems as me. And I feel like I am agony aunt types because the feeling is so mutual. The confusion and the pressure that we are put through, totally drains off our optimism. But, while facing the obstacles I had at some point made up my mind that I will have to take it all in..whether it is good or bad, for the better or for the worse, I had made up my mind not to quit. I got a lot of support from my family and a friend who has been my pillar of strength. I can never thank them enough. All I can tell is that life is a roller coaster, you either have to take the chance and get on it or else forever regret that you never took that initiative to be what you always wanted to be. All in all, I can tell that I am happier person and have a better life now than what I was expecting a few months back. It’s a big test you know, and by putting on a smile and a jump in your life you can win it!

Spring in full spring..

Spring time is happy time for everyone (especially for Europeans this time!). Feels like heaven. Birds are chirping around, sun is shining, the flowers are blossoming and there is of course the smell of barbecue everywhere!

1

My friend and me walk to and from our university everyday. we take a small pathway sort of road with just grass on both sides for some distance and then there is a big forest on one side. Last few days have been really grand to walk there, with the perfect weather and the musky forest fragrance. Everyday we pass the same route and everyday I see a lot of action. Dogs chewing on wooden sticks and teasing each other around. Children playing with the flowers and the grass.

I saw a guy lying down on the grass today while returning from my university. He was wearing only shorts and sunbathing his back. We were envying him from a distance for being so carefree and just sunbathing there on the side, while we had to run around the whole day with no time to relax at home let alone out on the grass in the sun. But, as we walked closer, we saw that he was reading.. he was reading a big fat book. It looked scary. Then I realized that its Germany, people don’t waste a minute of their day. I cant help but appreciate the people here. Even the dogs are so disciplined. I have never seen a dog act crazy here, not once. They follow their masters, they pee only where they are supposed to and they don’t take a poop in the public!

Hail Germany!

First one is always half-baked..

When I think of just a week back, I had no idea of opening a blog nor doing any writing.. But, yesterday when talking to my friend and discussing our childhood, our experiences in life, I thought – why not write all of this down? It will be good to read them later on and who knows, these small stories of a simple girl may help someone someday in some way! – Yeah, a stupid reason to start a blog maybe, but I want to start off and hope to put up old/new stories about my life every once in a while.

I want to tell you about myself in this first half-baked one.. I am a 23 year old, studying my masters in Munich. I have a good life, everything is completely normal ( read boring ). I am an Indian, but born and brought up in different countries: Early days in Bangalore, India, then moved to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, then to Dubai, UAE and then back to India for my high school. I was always a well behaved girl, very sensitive to things around me. Didn’t get into any kind of trouble and always competitive. I love pets, a big big biiiiiiig dog lover! I like hiking up mountains. I love spring and autumn.. Don’t like too much sun and too much no-sun. I am a foodie. And I am a neat freak, I am always organizing my stuff and cleaning everything up.

That’s it about me I guess! I hope to keep writing and keep updating you about my life and about all lives that I find interesting.

Peace out!

-zenytth